Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Marriage........ No....Yes.....YES!!!!

In the past few months I have seen boys and girls getting skeptical about marriage. In recent conversation with one of my friend, I found that he is very scared to lose his freedom and space after tying a knot. I tried to make him understand that, this is a myth and is not true.

Unfortunately, it’s not him only who has this misconception but many others too. Girls are too concerned with their freedom. They feel they will have to sacrifice their work, their money and their independence just for the sake of marriage.

Yes, it’s true that there is a cut on your freedom, but why we should think the negative part of it. There are many good things that come in the package called - Marriage. In these 4.5 yrs of my marriage I have come across lots of bad and good. Many times I have bowed down and many times my partner has sacrificed.

G(husband) has given me my freedom and I have given him his space. But yes many times we have fights but which relation doesn’t have? But at the end of the day we smile and forget about the negativity amongst us. After all what we want in the old age; a company, a good partner, a good support which one can expect through marriage.

Yes, many a times I have thought I should not have got married, as I missed the entire fun all which I had earlier. But can’t forget the fun which is part of my life now. It’s said past is past and live the present. Why to think about the past when you are still enjoying. I am fortunate to get the good in my life…good background and good family and good husband and in-laws.

There are many good things beyond the dark side of marriage. But yes till the time one gets a good and suitable prospect, one can enjoy one's so called freedom. But never have negative feelings for marriage. Believe me it’s not that bad. And yes Marriages are made in heaven but maintenance must be done on earth.


  1. Hey, Thanks for dropping by on the blog. I agree with you when you say that Marriage is a lot of work.. and that is something that each one of us should experience. I had read it somewhere- that, the value of Happiness can only be achieved if we know what sorrow is.
    And, what hell is our freedom, its a perspective I feel. Even when you are in a relationship, you are bound. It is just that, at the end of the both of em are in their own beds in their own room, but at the same time craving for each other at their side.
    The only thing that you should take into a marriage is- Faith- in yourself, in your partner and in Love, that has bound the two of you. Be realistic, life will be easy. :)

  2. I am amazed Shakshi's only 18 and she talks like 100 year old! I want to know what you people eat for breakfast!

    but i am happy to read positive things this morning, it kind of makes my day!

  3. marriage is finding the balance in life in all modes.
    i think thats what I saw in my parents life. :)

  4. I second your thoughts Rohini...I have been married for last five years and I am happy..I don't have the freedom that I used to enjoy earlier; but I have the new kinda freedom that I always wanted..I can take my own decisions, I can go out for overnight stay with the person I love, I have my own bedroom, my cupboard and what not..

    great post :))

  5. Hi Rohini,

    This post is an inspirition for spinsters like me. I feel that the success of a marriage solely depends on the two people involved in it.
    I am here for the first time. Do visit my blog. http://tanuspeaksonline.blogspot.com

  6. Marriage is such an old institution but even today we are bound to follow it. You say that your freedom is cut....there is dark side of it....negative side...but still u r advocating 4 it.
    Sum1 in d above comments said....what the hell is freedom…its just a perspective...wow….gr8..I think she doesn’t know people die to get their freedom...another commenter agreed that she has lost her freedom then also she is happy....what kind of happiness is this??
    If we can upgrade our technology can't v upgrade d way v live....I m not against marriage but can v amend d rules?? Can society give us d powers to amend it?? Why we give so much importance to society bound situations and get married just 4 d sake of getting married…v can’t v apply our own mind???
    R v getting married to find a partner 4 old age.....if yes then I think v r fooling ourselves.

    I am saying all this doesn’t mean that I will not get married in future…may be I will repeat d same mistake and will comment in the same blog after three years. . . ..
    ‘ I m happy with my lost freedom’……hihihihi.

    But as u say think positive about it and u want every1 to believe that its not that bad , I would like to share some of the benefits of marriage that were stated in a holy book:

    1. To beget children. This is the main purpose for marriage. The aim is to engender and preserve the human race.
    2. The second benefit of marriage is to be safe from the machinations of the devil and to satisfy lust and hence protect the private parts. If a man marries, half of his religion is saved. Fear God for the remaining half." "Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to fast, for fasting diminishes his sexual power."
    3. Marriage brings peace of mind as love grows between the couple. Peace of mind is necessary for divine service. ‘Three things are dear to me among earthly matters - perfume, woman and prayer, the latter is coolness to my eyes. This comfort is necessary for peace of mind.’
    4. Relaxation and recreation for the soul: It is obtained by enjoying the company and sight of one's wife, and by shared amusement, whereby the heart is refreshed and strengthened in worship; for the lower self (nafs) is prone to boredom and inclined to shun duty as something unnatural to it. If constrained to persevere in something repugnant, it jibes and backs away, whereas if revived occasionally by pleasures it acquires new strength and vigor. In familiarity with women, one finds the relaxation to banish cares and to refresh the heart.

    Like marriage these benefits stated in the holy book are really old…but again I don’t want to comment anything negative on it.
    As we upgrade our technology then why can’t we upgrade Quran, Bible and Vedas…keeping in mind today’s perspective???
    Why age old traditions are always right and we have to stay in the circumstances where we loose our freedom and articulate we are happy.
    Gr8 Post...thanks....!

  7. @broken star

    I tried to get to your blog but there were no posts!!

    boy I am lucky that i was never taught anything like this! I was under an impression that we are living beings equal and like any other in this universe and others.

    @ post

    I feel sad that you people feel you lost your freedom, and that you have adjusted with situation. But you still keep a happy face.

    Humans cannot let go of dominon--anthony hopkins in Instinct. I have been teaching myself to let go since 10 years!!

    At the end of the movie he says" you were right freedom is not just a dream it's there on the other side of those fences we build all by ourselves"

    I believe that I cannot be free unless I stop dominating others.

  8. All said and done it should be "Yes"

  9. Thnx all of you for reading..and putting ur inputs too...thanx again..and yes welcome to my blog all of you...

  10. Excellent Post!! I am gonna show this to my wife :).
    I wish every person think like you!

    P.S. Great line "Marriages are made in heaven but maintenance must be done on earth."

  11. @ AS - thnx for liking the post...wish to get ur comments more often...